After backpacking in the Wind River Range last week, Lucy and I were itching to get back on the trail for another overnight trek. I recently realized that Lucy can’t put in big mileage days as I had hoped especially while training for the John Muir Trail. My solution has been to do lower mileage backpacking trips with a very heavy pack to try to prepare me for the month-long trip in August.

I was driving near Bozeman, Montana talking to my friend Robby when he recommended I check out the Sawtooth Mountains in Idaho for a quick getaway after receiving some disappointing news about a job for which I was hoping to be hired. I was hesitant to drive the six hours south to this Idaho national forest and abandoning my well thought out day hiking plans in Montana, but I realized that the point of this whole road trip was to have the freedom to hike wherever my heart desired and go with the flow. I dropped everything and headed south towards the jagged Idaho mountains.

It was already late in the day after our attempt at hiking Storm Castle Peak was thwarted by the early afternoon heat. I was disappointed, but I knew that a few days in the back country would be just what I needed to get out of my funk. On the long drive down to Stanley, Idaho we passed through a blazing wildfire with firefighters guiding us through flaming forest. When we arrived at Iron Creek, the trailhead for Sawtooth Lake, it was way past my bedtime and I flopped onto my mattress in the back of my car without any preparation for the trip the next day.

Day 1: Iron Creek Trailhead to Sawtooth Lake

On Saturday, I woke up to the pink hue of sunrise peeking through the rear window of my car. Assuming it was just after dawn, I rolled over and went back to sleep. When I woke up an hour later I was surprised to see that it was already 8:00am. I realized that it in fact had not been sunrise but smoke from the fire that we had driven through clouding the sky and turning the sun bright red. I jumped into action, packing my things as quickly as I could in order to get on the trail before it got too hot outside. Although were only planning for one night in the backcountry, I brought enough food for four days in an attempt to weigh down my pack and prepare me for the John Muir Trail.

The trail was gently graded hard-packed dirt in a lodgepole pine forest, and on this beautiful Saturday morning there were lots of other hikers on the trail. I usually try to avoid the crowds by hiking on weekdays but being solo in the backcountry, I welcomed the company. As we climbed switchback after switchback of dusty dirt trail I wondered why they don’t just build the trail straight up like in the Whites. I still wasn’t accustomed to the meandering extra mileage that switchbacks provide, but it did help ease the difficulty of the elevation gain.

Lucy started getting tired just two miles into the hike as the temperature climbed from 60° to 70°. I had hoped that we would make it to Sawtooth Lake where there were sure to be lots of campgrounds and a refreshing swimming spot to reward us during the oppressive heat of the afternoon. With Lucy laying down after just two miles, with three and a half more to go and a thousand feet of elevation, I adjusted our goal and aimed for Alpine Lake just two miles and 500 feet away. I let Lucy lay in the shade for a half hour until she got antsy. By the time we got to the spur for Alpine Lake she was looking good, bounding up the trail with her usual vigor. I decided after talking to some other hikers that the 0.9 miles and 500 ft would be doable as long as we took breaks in the shade.

The temperature was 75° and climbing. Halfway between Alpine and Sawtooth Lakes we came upon a small snow field. Although Lucy had been looking a little wilted from the beaming sun, she perked right up when she felt the crunchy ice crystals under her paws. We played for a few minutes and I threw her snowballs for her to munch on in an effort to cool her before continuing. She even rolled around in the snow to cool off her back and belly. The rest of the way up to Sawtooth Lake was gentle, the switchbacks making it easy to climb the remaining elevation.

When we got to the lake I was astonished by its beauty. The water was turquoise and crystal clear. I could see boulders down at the bottom of the pool with their pebbled shores beckoning us. I soon found a gorgeous camping spot overlooking the lake about 100 yards from the shore. It was sheltered by small trees and had a second smaller spot below that would be a perfect kitchen. I don’t like to cook in the same area where I sleep and since this is bear country, I figured it would be best to eat downwind of our tent site.

After setting up camp Lucy and I took a stroll down to the lake shore and swam in the cool water. Across the lake there was a small snowfield melting directly into the water, so I expected it to be incredibly cold similar to the lakes we had experienced in Wyoming. This one was surprisingly comfortable, like an unheated pool, refreshing but not frigid. It was a much-needed reprieve from the afternoon heat which had now reached 80°. Lucy enjoyed swimming and fetching floating sticks from the water.

We had a lot of time before supper so I found a perfect flat rock on the edge of the lake dry my clothes and bathe the sun for a while before retiring to our campsite to cook. On this trip I brought freeze dried meals because with the immense weight of Lucy’s kibble I wanted to try and keep my food weight down as much as possible. On days when we hike or backpack Lucy eats about 3 cups of kibble, and I usually give her a packet of tuna for an extra energy boost.

On this trip I decided to try two new freeze dried meals, a risky endeavor seeing as they can be very hit or miss. The first night it was Backpacker’s Pantry Shephard’s Potato Stew with Beef, and I was pleasantly surprised with its hearty flavors. The second night I elected to splurge on a more expensive Good-to-Go Cuban Rice Bowl which blew me away with the limey zing. It was so delicious I swear I would have been happy eating it in the comfort of my own home.

Day 2: Sawtooth Lake to Small Lakes South of Sawtooth

The next day I woke up around 7:00am after tossing and turning most of the night. I was desperate for coffee and exhausted by my poor night’s sleep. My REI Flash sleeping pad is not the most comfortable for a side sleeper like me, my hip hitting the ground constantly. Luckily it had been a warm night so Lucy had stayed on her side of the tent instead of her sixty pound frame climbing on top of me for warmth and cuddles. After boiling water with my stove, Lucy and I retreated to our sunbathing rock to enjoy the cool morning lake views. I was sore from my night sleeping on the ground, so I did a few sun salutations to stretch my legs and back.

It was so quiet and peaceful here at our secluded lake with most of the other weekend backpackers departing early to get back for the work week. Although I hadn’t originally planned to stay more than one night, I decided that I loved the scenery and calmness so much that we’d stay a couple extra nights. After the much-needed caffeine boost, Lucy and I hit the trail for a short day hike before the temperatures rose to the unbearable 90° heat forecasted for the afternoon.

As we traversed above the south side of the lake the dazzlingly clear water took my breath away. We were about 100 feet above the edge of the water and I desperately wanted to get down to it for a swim, but the steep scree slope was too loose for us to downclimb. Wildflowers of magenta, violet, and tangerine lined our path beckoning us to continue on as we arrived at a large open meadow just past the edge of the lake. Lucy pranced through it jubilantly sniffing and rolling through the lush grasses.

We got back to the campsite just as the intense heat hit, so we alternated between the lake and our favorite rock all afternoon. With the whirlwind of school, work, and hiking I’m not accustomed to having muchj free time. Suddenly at this lake without cell service or people to talk to I had an overwhelming amount of time to kill. I journaled, did more yoga, and finished reading Steph Davis’ High Infatuation for a second time before starting to feel like I needed another form of entertainment. I knew I should just let myself relax, but that has always been a challenge for me. I decided that night that we would descend the next day, partly because I was bored, and partly because the day hikes from our camp in the area didn’t look as appealing to me as a warm meal and a mattress to lay my head on.

Day 3: Sawtooth Lake to Iron Creek Trailhead

Waking up on our third day in the wilderness I was exhausted. I had not slept well either night and resolved to splurge a little on a new sleeping pad before embarking on the JMT. I was starting to realize that a good night’s sleep after a long day of hiking is precious. I had prepared overnight oats and cold brew coffee by adding water to both the night before in an attempt to expedite the morning routine, and it was surprisingly satisfying after the warm night. I’ve always insisted on boiling water in the morning for coffee on backpacking trips in an effort to keep some of the comforts of home on the trail, but this was even better.

While I packed up camp, Lucy disappeared for about a minute and when I found her I realized, to my dismay, that she had found some human excrement unburied to snack on. It is protocol to bury any human waste at least 6 inches below the ground. After scolding her I could tell her stomach wasn’t feeling good. As we left camp she dragged, unwilling to drink water and looking lethargic. It made me worried because we had five miles to make it back to the car and I wanted to be there before the afternoon heat took its toll. I let her eat some charcoal remnants from a campfire, hoping that it would settle her stomach, and force fed her water to try and ease her discomfort.

As she started to look better on the descent, I suddenly rolled my left ankle and fell on my hands and knees. The weight of my pack and the extra day of food we hadn’t eaten pulled me down so hard that I skidded down the dirt path. Getting up I was dirt-covered, bloody, and frustrated, but I knew it would be easier to treat my wounds at the car so we kept descending. Lucy was looking much better, leading me down the trail at our usual clip. Then suddenly I lost my balance and again collapsed on the dusty trail with even more force and momentum. This time I hadn’t gotten a chance to put out my hands and catch myself, so my face hit the ground hard, dirt covering the whole left side of my body.

Getting up I didn’t feel like myself. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe, and it felt like the world was closing in upon me. I felt like I was dying. It was the familiar feeling of a panic attack, and Lucy pawed at me as she always does in these situations, begging me to sit down on the forest floor. As I did, Lucy climbed up on top of my lap laying her warm belly across my thighs and pressing her head into my chest. It forced me to focus on my breathing, like we had practiced. Lucy and I had been working on her skills alerting me to my panic attacks and performing deep pressure therapy in order to help me control them. I’ve had my anxiety well controlled since I finished grad school, so I hadn’t really seen her in action putting her skills into practice.

Tears slipped down my dirt-streaked cheeks even though I wasn’t sure why I was so beside myself. I’ve fallen hundreds of times on the trail, so it was odd that I was having such a strong reaction this time.  Looking back, I think I was feeling overwhelmed with the stress of making sure Lucy was comfortable and feeling out of control of my own body after falling twice. As I calmed down, I assessed my injuries realizing that luckily I was fine other than some cuts and scrapes.

After getting up slowly and taking a sip of water, Lucy took charge and led us further down the trail. I saw a few day hikers ascending towards the lake and imagined I looked like a feral girl covered in dirt with my hair a mess after three days in the backcountry. This made me laugh a bit and I actually liked the idea of being a wild girl more accustomed to nature than the civilized world.

When I saw the glimmer of sunlight bouncing off the cars in the parking lot a sense of relief washed over me. Lucy and I had made it back to the trailhead after our first solo backpacking trip. Although it had been a pretty crazy morning, it was so satisfying to know that we had survived in the wilderness. I felt powerful and independent as I threw my heavy pack into the car and we cruised down the dirt road back towards civilization and a well-deserved milkshake.

Lucy and I had backpacked with Robby in the Wind River Range last week, but this solo experience had me a bit anxious with nobody to fall back on in case things went wrong. In the end, I carried us through the weekend on my own and was left feeling empowered. I loved the serenity of being in the backcountry with my dog, and the scenery will be a lasting memory.